full speed ahead

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How I visualize the river of my life.

This is the story of how I learned first-hand about energetic pendulums and began deliberately creating a new reality for myself.  

I was attempting to make my way through a distracted crowd of happy-hour minglers congregating at the bar.  It was the early dinner rush and I was on my way to grab two cocktails for a nice couple at my newly-seated table.  I stopped in my tracks, however, at the sight of her; a middle-aged woman dressed in a white business suit and bright red six-inch heels.  Her seemingly slow-motion procession through the bar was mesmerizing. She carried such an air of clout about her that as she walked through the crowd, the distracted people who had previously given me no notice instinctively moved out of her way.  Never missing a high-heeled beat, head tilted toward the ceiling, she didn’t make eye contact with anyone. I felt myself unconsciously remove myself from her path as she wooshed by me toward the dining room. She carried a stack of three-ring binders under one arm, a large leather satchel in the other.  

I came to realize later that this woman was serving as an energetic pendulum sent into my life in order for me to learn something valuable.  I had read about the concept of Pendulums in Vadim Zeland’s book Reality Transurfing, but hadn’t really grasped how it works in “real life”. My interpretation of a Pendulum is a person, thought, idea, or cause that builds momentum in one direction based on the energy given to it by a person or group of people.  A pendulum feeds on energy, swinging further in the direction pushed by the energy source. Some examples would be a political party or sports team.  

My personal conceptualization is a scene where I am floating down a river, which represents my life.  A pendulum would be a sudden water current, like a distributary that tries to divert my direction (attention) so that I will begin to float in a new direction, which is off my intended path.  This is the best way for me to visualize the phenomenon. I can exert energy by rowing in the new direction or I can simply remain face-forward on my intended course.    

I hope this makes sense.

As soon as this lady passed me, my natural instinct was to feed her my energy, or to use my river analogy, I began rowing along with a diverted current.  What a stuck-up bitch.  Well excuuuuuuse me. What an entitled diva.  I’m so glad she isn’t in my section.  I was feeling very strong emotions about her, which is the fuel for energy.  Had I simply observed her behavior and not devoted any thought to it whatsoever, the night might have gone very differently. 

I grabbed the drinks I needed from the bar and headed off toward the dining room.  Can you guess who was pulling out a chair to join my nice middle-aged couple? I growled under my breath and rolled my eyes as I approached.  I was now really putting my oar in the river, just rowing away, losing sight of my path. My energy was making her even worse. She began looking around the dining room before sitting down to decide whether or not she approved of the table.  I stood back watching and muttering under my breath. Once she saw there were no open tables, she proceeded to rearrange the couple in different seats and then moving the glasses and even the candle holder around to her liking. I sighed as loud as I could and decided to walk away.  She still hadn’t sat down. The obnoxiousness had become a dramatic scene and I was unknowingly writing the script.

I checked on my other tables and saw from the corner of my eye that she was waving her hand in the air at me as if they had been waiting for hours. My insides were beginning to feel tense and I could feel my face getting hot and red.  I took a deep breath, put a smile on my face, and approached the table. As I began asking her for her drink order she stopped me by raising her hand toward my face and kept her eye contact with her guests. Once she had finished her sentence, she looked down at the menu and muttered seltzer with lime.  

After being dismissed from the table, I went to the back to retrieve her seltzer. Oh boy did I begin to feed her energy.  I was rowing my boat with all the strength I had, going way off course from my desired state of love, empathy, calm. I recounted with everyone in the back about her behavior, I imitated her walk, the way she threw up her hand, I called her names; I lost all control of my emotions.  As I fed it energy, the current grew stronger and only made her worse.

I could fill pages describing what transpired through the rest of the meal.  By the time I was clearing plates away, I had grown cold and rude. I was ready for them to leave.  However after dessert, she then laid out the binders and began a two-hour presentation. Anyone who is or has been a server understands that amount of money she took from me by inhibiting that table to be seated the two more turns it would have for the evening.  The rudeness I could handle, but taking my table up for the entire evening pushed me over the edge.  

I bitched about her the entire night, especially during the two hours I waited for her to leave. I was rowing with all of the emotional energy I could muster.  I became way off center with who I really am. I was so livid that I copied down her name from some papers she left and found her financial planning website after work that night.  I typed up a long email to her detailing what a piece of shit she is and just before I sent it, I deleted it. That didn’t stop me from going to bed angry and even waking up practicing in my head what I wanted to say to her.  

Three nights later.  I stood leaning against a wall in the dining room.  I was staring at the last table remaining. It was four best friends who hadn’t seen one another in years, their checks had been closed for an hour and a half but they still chatted away.  All of the other servers were gone as I glared at my table. This same scenario had happened in my section every night since the “incident” with the financial planner.  

This was the moment when I remembered reading about energetic pendulums.  The concept had come to life in front of my eyes. I had given the situation so much of my energy that I had created a karmic loop.  A karmic loop is the Universe bringing a recurring situation into your life until you learn what’s needed to be learned to close the loop.  I had been swept away by the current and kept rowing harder. That night when I finally got home, I reflected on this and instead of shaming myself, I turned self-loathing into self-realization.  If I had truly created this reality then why wouldn’t I be able to create an alternate one?  

The next day, before my shift, I laid down in my bed and made a scene in my mind’s eye of the kinds of exchanges I wanted with my guests.  Not really particular faces, but enough so that I could feel the emotion of joy and connection that I feel when I serve great people. I envisioned getting the “right” tables; friendly, expedient, and generous.  I would feel the emotion of what it’s like to have a great night, and how that money feels when I’m walking out the door. I saw in my mind my section of tables being seated and getting up to leave over and over like clockwork.

I felt as if I could swing this pendulum the other way; I would row against the current.  

At first I didn’t quite “get” it.  Here’s why. I was still getting rude tables of people and ones who wanted to campout in my section.  My way to combat that was to give lots of positive energy to them. But, I was still focusing energy on the behavior– the extended stays in my section.  I would say things to myself like “its perfectly fine if they sit there all night.” Well, what I realized later is that energy is energy, current is current, and the Universe doesn’t distinguish between saying positive or negative things about the scenario.  If you are feeding it energy, it will grow. When tables stayed too long, I simply ignored it, kept my energy directed elsewhere. Eventually, they stopped lingering. 

The key was in the non-acknowledgement.  So, for example, when an older man snapped at me for dripping wine on the table, I apologized politely, but totally ignored the situation in my head.  I became an observer of the behavior but didn’t attach to it whatsoever. To attach to the annoyance, I would be feeding it energy and thus veering with the current of the negative situation.  By remaining neutral, my face remains forward, and I keep drifting down the river of life in the direction I desire.  

It didn’t happen instantly.  One can’t change the direction of a boat on a whim.  But night after night I practiced being the observer of behavior and non-acknowledgement.  I didn’t speak negatively about my guests to other servers, I refrained from dwelling on negative emotions, and I consciously kept a smile on my face.  Within a few weeks, I witnessed the most incredible shift in my reality. The types of people coming to my section, my mood at work, and my income all transformed.  I was beginning to hear comments from my coworkers about how the hostess must really like me or how I was getting so lucky (totally ignored that because they were simply pendulums).  I was getting the best tables in my section night after night.    

I bent reality. 

I want to tell this story to share in my excitement and illustrate the power of our consciousness.  Since the financial planner scenario, I’ve been able to create other realities in my life that I never thought possible.  For instance, with my kids: I began to take notice of how often I was feeding energetic pendulums. Of course my kids are going to continue to show me how sloppy they are if that’s the current I want to follow.  They will continue time and time again to fulfill that karmic loop. Once I became an observer and practiced non-acknowledgment with their sloppiness, I promise you I’ve come home to sinks full of clean dishes and my son with a broom in his hand (a feat that could only be labeled divine intervention).  I feel as though I have discovered the key to happiness, to success, to life. Face forward and full speed AHEAD!

4 thoughts on “full speed ahead

  1. Wow!! I just cannot believe the wisdom one can learn from reading your blogs. They are meant to help others and I know they do. I’m one the blogs help. Dallas, I am amazed and so impressed with your writing. Wow!

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