to the mother of my children

I recall the disappointed expression on your face on Mother’s Day 2013 after you had read the heart-felt tribute I wrote to my mom.  The piece was raw and the vulnerability that I poured into the words to celebrate her was unprecedented for me.  There was so much attention attracted to that piece and accolades for mom all day long.   You loved my mom, it wasn’t jealousy, but I never made any effort to mention you.  The hurt you displayed was perceived to me at the time as selfish and immature. 

About a month later, I left you.  Your face on that particular day displayed an emotion that was of no comparison.

I have drawn nothing but blanks this year as I sit down to write a Mother’s Day blog.   I have started and stopped writing many times this week about my mom, then my grandma, and then even relatives who have passed.  I was perplexed as to why I couldn’t seem to put words to paper because I have so much I want to say about the women in my life.  Yesterday morning as I was driving I began asking myself writing prompts and the question came to mind: Who are some of the greatest mothers I know of who could inspire me to write? And then you came to mind.

Here is what flowed from heart to pen and I hope you realize that everything in our lives has perfect and divine timing.

There’s tolerance in a woman who will deliver two babies naturally without any complaints about pain.

There’s courage in a woman who grabs a kid on each hip and wades through waste-high water to escape a flooding house.

There’s discipline in a woman who takes on and successfully executes the daunting task of homeschooling.

There’s ingenuity in a woman who sets her sights on learning how to create balloon animals for her kids’ parties and becomes an expert.

There’s resilience in a woman who can get two kids to adhere to daily schedules without help from her husband.

There’s devotion in a woman who shows up without hesitation to a mental facility to find her husband is suicidal and asks how she can help.

There’s honor in a woman who stands by her husband despite the revelation of secrets and lies.

There’s integrity in a woman who makes the choice to allow her drug addicted ex-husband to remain in their kids’ lives because she knows he loves and needs them.

There’s pure grace in you.

No matter whether we were on the incline or decline of the the emotional roller coaster I made this family ride over the past twenty years, the one constant was your commitment to being the best Mother you could be.  So, here is a small attempt to show you the gratitude I feel and give you the tribute you deserve.  This year, instead of dismay, I hope these words inspire an expression of peace and light.  Happy Mother’s Day.


2 thoughts on “to the mother of my children

  1. Such an incredibly moving piece of writing here. I can tell you wrote this from your heart. Thank you for sharing and displaying the raw emotion for the mother of your children. She seems like an incredibly strong and encouraging soul. I am glad your children have such an incredible role model, especially for your young daughter, in their lives. #mothersday #strongwoman #family #heartfelt


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